Dating Tips for Lesbian Women with Herpes

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Lesbian women just like gay men face a unique set of challenges in life. It likely starts with the choice to come out to the family. This is a difficult decision that can have some repercussions that may or may not be positive. For some people this is a challenge they are ready to face up to, but for others it can change their life completely in a negative way. If you're a lesbian woman living with herpes, this creates a whole new unique set of challenges. How you handle these challenges is up to you, but below we've created the list of the top five dating tips for lesbian women living with herpes.

#1 Always Be Upfront with an Existing Partner

When you're involved in an existing relationship and you find out that you have herpes this can be a devastating occurrence. First of all there's a lot of questions that go through your mind such as, did I give this to my partner? Did they give this to me? At this point there's no point in attempting to lay blame, you're both going to have to live with the consequences. Be upfront with your partner, and tell them that you just found out you have herpes. There's bound to be some strain in your relationship at least for a period of time, but there will be a lot more strain if you're not upfront with them. In many cases you'll be able to work things out and move on in your relationship, but in the worst case scenario you'll have to move on in life. This may seem devastating at the time, but eventually life will go on.

#2 When Starting a New Relationship Be Honest and Forthright about Your Condition

Starting a new relationship often give you that butterfly feeling in your stomach. It doesn't matter whether you're gay, lesbian, or straight. We all experience the same sort of feelings. There will be stressful times, and there will be uplifting times, but these types of feelings are only amplified if you happen to be living with herpes. When you're starting a new relationship and you know that you are living with herpes, be right up front with your partner. Let them make the decision if they're willing to get involved with someone living with this disease. Yes it may be heartbreaking having to let someone go that you really like, but it's not fair to them to make this choice for them. In the long run you'll be happier that you were honest no matter what the outcome is.

#3 Avoid Skin to Skin Contact Especially during an Outbreak

When you're involved in a relationship with someone that doesn't have herpes there are some things you have to keep in mind. This person may be willingly involved with you, but this doesn't mean that they want to become a carrier themselves. There are some things that you can do to ensure this doesn't happen. That doesn't mean that you can't have a healthy sex life. For one thing it's probably best to avoid skin to skin contact as much as possible-especially during an outbreak. Also, be upfront with your partner, let them know all the facts, that there is a possibility they can acquire the disease even when an outbreak is not present. This possibility is low probably under 10%, but it does exist. It should always be their decision to make if they want to engage in an activity that could cause them to develop herpes.

#4 Educate yourself about the STD You're Living with

One of the biggest problems for people living with an STD is that they simply don't know a lot about the disease they're living with. It pays to become educated, and with today's online tools available there is no reason that you shouldn't be able to find out everything you need to know about the disease. Online herpes dating or lesbian dating sites often have a lot of tools at your disposal, including articles and videos that you can use to learn about herpes. Of course you can always perform a simple Google search to find more information. However you find the information just make sure you do- it pays to be educated.

#5 No Matter what don’t give up on Life or Dating

When you're living with a disease like herpes it often feels easy to just remove yourself from the world. Sure you can do this, but it's not necessary. You can still live a full and productive life while living with herpes. There will certainly be changes in your life, and at times these will be very difficult, but you can live with them and you can live a great life. It may seem cliché to say that education is power, but there has never been a more true statement uttered out of a human mouth. When you educate yourself you provide yourself with comfort, and you provide yourself with the tools to succeed.


As a lesbian woman living with herpes you’ll face many challenges – you can either curl yourself up into a ball or get on with living your life. Obviously, the latter option is the best choice. If you learn all you can about the disease, be open and honest with your partners, and follow some basic precautions you can live a happy and healthy life.